One Side of A Phone Call With My Mom

Hey Mom. (Sigh of disgust) No, I don't need you to do my laundry. I'm a fucking grownup for Christ's sake. Sorry. (deep breath) I flew off the handle. I didn't mean it. I was out late last night and the No Mom! I'm not telling you what I did last night. It is none of you business. I'm not a fucking kid anymore. I don't need you badgering me about my sex life. If I want to be a big boy, I can do what I want! (tapping fingers nervously) You have NO RIGHT TO KNOW MY PERSONAL BUSINESS! So what if we did it in the parking lot of the church. It's no skin off your teeth! (deathly silence) Love you too, Mommy.