Relationships With Hobos: A Cautionary Tale

Seen a cute and dangerous man lurking in the alleys of the night, rummaging for vittles and gently-worn clothing? Turned on by women in wraps of soggy burlap who pillage trash receptacles for pastries and gently-used fruit?

If Yes...

CAUTION! Dating a hobo, a bum, a street person is not what it seems!

Your relationship is doomed to suffer. Dates will; be subdued, in-extravagant strolls though garbage. Sex toys will be out of batteries and second hand. Hygiene suffers in general (not necessarily a major point of contention if you're fucking a homeless person). Vacation plans will be limited by funds and availability of sidewalk to push your cart.

If they say their job is recycle collector, make sure its a government affiliated endeavor.

(Don't eat that vaga-bond.)